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Emotions can run high in any divorce because there is a lot at stake, both financially and emotionally. It’s especially common to experience anger and resentment toward your divorcing spouse if you feel that they are responsible for the breakdown of your marriage, or if they are acting in a toxic or hostile way toward you.

Anger, whether justified or not, can hinder your efforts to gain a beneficial outcome in a divorce. Therefore, it is important that you are able to manage your anger and focus on the most crucial aspects of divorce negotiation. The following are some ways to effectively manage your anger.

Find a productive way to vent your anger

If you feel anger building up, you need to find a way to release it. Instead of directing your anger toward your divorcing spouse, consider more healthy ways to do this. A great option is to engage in exercise. Not only does it help you to release tension and stress but it is also great for your body and can elevate your mood, which can prevent future anger outbursts.

Shift your focus toward a solution

Anger usually comes from feeling that you have been wronged in some way. Anger can be a healthy emotion because it can help you recognize when a person is crossing your boundaries. However, acting on your anger is not usually a good idea. Instead, try to identify what exactly made you angry, whether this action was wrong, and what you can do to resolve the situation.

For example, your divorcing spouse may have insinuated that they will fight for full custody of your children. You may have envisioned losing your relationship with your children as a result, which would make you angry. An angry outburst may create an escalation of the situation, so you should focus on questioning why they want to file for full custody, and what could be done to effectively negotiate.

If you are going through a divorce while struggling with anger issues, it is important that you take action to learn how to manage the situation better.